*Cebs
Silence Explained Edgewild Health Update*
BN Crew leader Ceb is suffering from a mystery illness and has been in and
out of consciousness since Thursday of last week.
Questions were raised in the wake of the explosive JackStack Whyte interview
as to why Ceb hadn't seized the opportunity to condemn Gapford's controversial
plans.
It
is now evident that Ceb has been unable to form coherent thoughts since
being struck down by the mystery ailment.
Long
time ally Optibeak Clancy told the media today of the situation in his
hourly press conference.
'Ceb
is unable to move, unable to communicate, unresponsive to stimuli. This
is not unusual in itself but has now been going on for a full week. We
have no prognosis at the current time, nor do we have a window regulator
for a 96 Carina e.'
The
leadership of the BN Crew would temporarily pass into the grubby hands
of Doctor Edgewild but he too has been suffering from a serious life attack.
His condition has been upgraded from dead to Backlash.
BN
head of security The Kid Beef has taken temporary charge of the crew
but is said to be more interested in blasting his delts to the absolute
max.
The
timing of these mystery illnesses would seem to be perfect for leadership
hopeful Gapford who immediately jumped on the chance to put down his rivals
by unveiling his new campaign slogan 'A healthy leader is a strong leader
is a 190d leader.'
Should
Ceb or Doctor Edgewild fail to make the BN conference this weekend, leadership
will automatically pass to Gapford.
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