*Cutter Returns To Hostile Welcome*
Notorious BN kingpin Cutter arrived back in Ireland this morning after nine months on the run abroad.

It is believed following allegations of extortion, grand larceny and generally being up to no good he fled to New Zealand and lived as a local there until a concerned citizen (namely his brother Groover) informed interpol that he had spotted the renegade binman who was living under the name Robert Mugatu, fraternizing with local youngsters outside well known Maori drug haunts.

Cutter, however has always denied any
allegations put against him in Ireland or anywhere else except for the ones that made him look cooler to his peers including, crack possession and the slightly less cool charge of crack obsession.

In a press conference this morning Gardai stated "we can confirm that the man the media has known recently as Cutter was arrested in the popular amusement park maoiri world in new Zealand last night and has subsequently been extradited back to Ireland where he will face charges of being cutter, he returned from Dublin airport at eight thirty this morning and was brought directly to Clontarf Garda station to undergo questioning, however we were low on petrol and substantially hungry so we just dropped him off at Seniors gaf instead, we believe he is no threat to the public and will not abscond whilst awaiting trial".

Within moments of the statement there were 37 reports of assault in the Artane area and cutter had somehow boarded a plain back to new Zealand and had already been spotted in morocco.