*Cutter
Returns To Hostile Welcome*
Notorious BN kingpin Cutter arrived back in Ireland this morning after nine
months on the run abroad.
It
is believed following allegations of extortion, grand larceny and generally
being up to no good he fled to New Zealand and lived as a local there
until a concerned citizen (namely his brother Groover) informed interpol
that he had spotted the renegade binman who was living under the name
Robert Mugatu, fraternizing with local youngsters outside well known Maori
drug haunts.
Cutter,
however has always denied any
allegations put against him in Ireland or anywhere else except for the
ones that made him look cooler to his peers including, crack possession
and the slightly less cool charge of crack obsession.
In
a press conference this morning Gardai stated "we can confirm that
the man the media has known recently as Cutter was arrested in the popular
amusement park maoiri world in new Zealand last night and has subsequently
been extradited back to Ireland where he will face charges of being cutter,
he returned from Dublin airport at eight thirty this morning and was brought
directly to Clontarf Garda station to undergo questioning, however we
were low on petrol and substantially hungry so we just dropped him off
at Seniors gaf instead, we believe he is no threat to the public and will
not abscond whilst awaiting trial".
Within
moments of the statement there were 37 reports of assault in the Artane
area and cutter had somehow boarded a plain back to new Zealand and had
already been spotted in morocco.
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