*Doctor
Edgewild In Hostile Takeover Bid*
Relations between warring BN Crew factions were dealt another crushing blow
today when it emerged that Dr. Edgewild has been in secret talks in a bid
to take over long time ally Gapford's business interests.
It
has emerged that last weeks gesture of good will by Edgewild in which
he sent a pallet of identical black jumpers to Gapford's place of work
was simply a ploy to gain trust with Grindleson when in actuality Dr.
Edgewild was in secret talks with the remaining members of Gristy's crew
in a bid to overthrow their maniacal leader and seize his assets which
include some black jumpers and a few Mercedes 190 diesels, that's literally
everything..
It is thought since making it big with an empire of warehouses that sell
paint and glue to local vagrants Edgewild has developed a thirst for the
prawn sandwich good life and wants to expand his business interests into
Dublin and the rest of Ireland, he was quoted as saying "demand for
paint and glue is Tom Hanks big in the emerald isle because lets face
it, they're all junkies over there".
Following
today's revelations sources close to Gaplication say he feels betrayed
and hungry with this latest blow to his empire. It is believed that Dr.
Edgewild has since taken back the pallet of black jumpers and sent them
to some sort of militia group in the Soviet Union.
Sources
tell us that Dr. Edgewild will be flying back to Ireland on Tuesday night
for emergency talks with other BN Crew members about the fate of Gapford's
business empire and future black jumper shipments. In an unusual move
Gapford will also be collecting Edgewild from the airport with some kind
of completely unnecessary entourage.
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