*Gapford Alive*
BN Crew paperweight Gapford was today found alive and unwell after weeks of speculation over his whereabouts.

His weather-beaten body was found where he left it, in the foothills of some weird Scandinavia country that he 'is mad into'.

The former child acting star was catapulted to national fame after playing that geek David in 'Roseanne' as well as playing David Silver in 'Beverly Hills 90210 and David Arquette in the life story of David Arquette.

BN kingpin Ceb was unavailable for comment but commented that Gaptron is only one step up from worthless. Long time cohort Jackstack Whyte was first to visit Gaplon in his hospital bed, later wheeled from the ward to an unidentified industrial unit in Inchicore. Whyte later threw himself from the hospital roof citing an unnamed 'bunch of idiots' in his suicide note that was clearly in Ceb's handwriting.