| |
*Hamhead
Launches Attack On BNC*
Long time BN favourite Hamhead today sensationally spoke out against the
band who made him a star. Speaking from his Costa Del Sol retreat, Hamhead
launched a scathing attack on the BN Crew in the aftermath of the release
of new single 'Clear Conscience'.
The
single which has already been banned in 7 countries in the European Union
alone deals with the Gary Glitter sex scandal and Hamhead is said to be
especially outraged with this subject matter. In an angry text to Edgewild,
Hamhead claimed he did not want to be anything to do with the song or
indeed the band if they 'continue to peddle this kind of lowest common
denominator bullshit.' He went on to say it was 'unacceptable, uncalled
for and unbelievable.' The text was soon being discussed in a BN HQ midnight
mass meeting with the upper levels of the BN hierarchy. It is believed
that this discussion led to long time Hamhead supporters Disco Lights
and Gumpner being suspended indefinitely although this is yet to be confirmed.
Hamhead first shot to fame as ghost writer for Gumpner's semi autobiographical
novella 'The outsider looking in'. He founded the Ceb fan club although
later claimed it was under duress and the threat of savage beatings. He
was the first BN 'super fan', claiming he would lay down his life in order
to keep the hugely controversial 'Got Rape?' tour of 1992 on in his home
town of Gorey despite huge protests from locals. He also released his
solo album 'I am a threat to your sexuality' on the back of the success
of the 'Egg in the Nest' single to very mixed reviews.
This latest development however puts Hamhead's status as BN fan supremo
and honorary member for life in threat. It has been reported by insiders
that Ceb has been hit especially hard by Hamhead's apparent 'heel turn'.
The psychologist Ceb had seen 'The Road Dogg' Eoin Handmedown as somewhat
of a successor to his BN empire. Unconfirmed reports say that Ceb released
a statement claiming that Hollywood Hulk Handmedown had not only a ghost
attack but a cartwheel attack on the way to his door. This statement was
retracted before it was released but is said to give an insight into Ceb's
fragile mental state, after a week which saw him lose his right hand man
Beardo to an extradition warrant and the death of his own illegitimate
son 'The one' Peter Sheridan.
Neither
Hunter Hearst Hamhead nor Ceb have been available for comment this evening
but the BN are expected to release a statement early tomorrow morning
in reaction to Hamhead's latest transgression.
 |