JackStack was made a member after details of his disdain for mankind became apparent and BN supremos Ceb and Doctor EdgeWild saw this trait as being ideal for a potential future BN star.

Starting off as somewhat of a sideshow to the main BN Crew powerdrive (tm), JackStack soon found himself thrust into the spotlight when most of the earlier members grew up a bit and drifted away from the increasingly bizarre antics of Ceb and Doctor EdgeWild. That spotlight would serve to further push Whyte onto the fringes of humanity, reportedly living in fear of human contact of any kind.

During this time Gapford and JackStack, Gapstack, became allies in the increasingly fractious BN hierarchy. In an interview from 1976, long before either man was born, Gapford remembers 'We soon came to realise we were involved with an organisation that flew in the face of logic. This was a group where you could be flavour of the month for a matter of seconds. You could literally be killed off in a news article if you didn't answer your phone or even if Doctor EdgeWild, (head of communications at the time) had an amusing idea for an article. Even an imagined sleight on the BN Crew would result in your removal from the BN Crew Power 25. Which rarely even had more than a dozen names. It just didn't make any sense.'

The pair began to make plans for the future. Leaving the BN Crew wasn't an option, it was just a matter of months since The Bean had fallen subject to a year long text campaign of terror, and JackStack's paranoia had long precluded the possibility of trying to switch to a rival crew such as the Drumcondra Isotopes or the Leo Crowley district players.

Gapford saw the decaying leadership of the supergroup as his chance to seize power of a once average crew and return them to that glittering mediocrity. He currently stands on the brink of power, with JackStack as his running mate, ready to wrest control from the drunken hands of Ceb.

That is, until JackStack contacted ButtNuggetCrew.com and agreed to the following explosive interview which threatens to throw the leadership race into chaos.

ButtNuggetCrew.com EXCLUSIVE AND UNEDITED INTERVIEW WITH JACKSTACK WHYTE:

ButtNuggetCrew.com: Thank you for agreeing to this interview JackStack, the first you have done since joining the Crew. Why have you decided to speak out now, at a time when the BN Crew is in turmoil?

JackStack Whyte: First off, let me set the record straight. I never wanted to be in the BN Crew. I just happened to know Gapford socially and worked with him in the O continuum. It was there that I came into contact with Doctor EdgeWild and Ceb. I never joined. I was never asked. I never had any interest. They took it upon themselves to conscript me. I only want to live my life and that doesn't involve the BN Crew in any way.

BNC: Wait, that seems rather strange for someone who is second in command to the man who will, according to all opinion polls, lead the BN Crew in a matter of weeks.

JSW: I DON'T CARE! Gapford is nothing. He is a power mad idiot with a God complex and he's always talking about me behind my back. Probably.
BNC: So, does this mean that you do not endorse his manifesto? That you will not be supporting him in his leadership challenge?

JSW: His manifesto? Let me tell you about his manifesto - He wants to own ever single Mercedes Benz 190D in Ireland. Does that sound like the idea of a well man? He doesn't care about the BN Crew. He sees it simply as a resource, a way to implement Plan G.

BNC: Plan G? His plan to rid the BN Crew of it's useless drunken leader Ceb?

JSW: No, that's simply a front. Plan G is the harvesting of BN Crew members for their component

oils and fluids to act as lubricant for the passenger door opening mechanism on a Mercedes 190D.

BNC: That seems... hard to believe. Surely you have some kind of proof to back up this wild accusation?

JSW: I don't believe in proof. I burn every correspondence I've ever seen, be it related to me or otherwise. You can't be too careful. Some may call me a paranoid malcontent but they're the ones living in a fantasy world, not me.

BNC: It seems... and I'm not calling you a liar... but it seems very far fetched. I mean, all that work, risking indeed his very life, to lubricate a door mechanism?

JSW: These are the actions of an insane man, a man who will stop at nothing to lubricate the passenger door mechanism of a Mercedes Benz 190D.

BNC: Do you have anything at all to back up these claims? Surely, a plan as needlessly complicated as this leaves a trail, requires some kind of research?

(Silence)

JSW: You seen Toolan in a while?

BNC: What are you getting at?

JSW: (Laughs) He was the first. The prototype. You ever open the door to Gapford's first 190? Smooth.

BNC: Let me get this straight. So there can be no confusion. Gapford, the leading challenger to the current BN Crew hierarchy is running for leadership purely to then harvest the BN Crew members for

their internal oils and use them to lubricate a door.

JSW: That is correct.

BNC: You are certain that this is his plan. That he killed BN Crew member Toolan and used him to test the viability of this plan.

JSW: That is correct.

BNC: Isn't that the most complicated way of doing anything, possibly ever?

JSW: That is not my concern.

(Silence)

BNC: So... Why now? Why make this public now?

JSW: I have my reasons.

BNC: And those reasons are?

JSW: Wheels within wheels. There's always a bigger picture and it's never in a frame.

BNC: I... see. Can we take the timing of your announcement that you now endorse current leader Ceb?

JSW: That drunken idiot? He can barely lead himself to the toilet, let alone a minor social institution like the BN Crew.

BNC: Social institution? But the BN Crew are a musical act?

JSW: Are they? What, six songs in almost 15 years?

BNC: There are a number of albums, EPs, tours...

JSW: (Raises voice) FANTASY! The imaginations of a small collective of disturbed minds. These are 30 year old men for Grud's sake. They don't have jobs, families, or any kind of direction in their lives! They move from month to month, watching old friends move on and they move backwards, if at all! They drive 90s cars, listen to 90s music and they were about 15 for most of the nineties! It's a fucking fantasy! A joke.

BNC: But the news articles, the BN Crew are surely one of the biggest acts...

JSW: It's all made up! Delusional fantasies about a fictional band whose membership seems to range from idiotic aquaintances to phantoms! These are people who will meet someone once, or even see a photograph, and decide that this person is now 'in the BN Crew.' What does that even mean? Do the people in the BN Crew even know they are in it? Or is it simply the work of two sad fantasists who can't function in the real world and instead imagine a present, a past, and populate it with a host of bizarre characters and imaginary memories. Two people who are so disconnected from their lives that they conjure up this world so that they can live in some kind of shared collective that doesn't really exist. That their own unfilfiled potential has somehow manifested itself into this world, complete with world tours, constantly dying and resurrecting band mates and imaginary journalists conducting interviews... whereas the sad truth is that I am sitting at home at 2am eating Turkey steaks while writing this.

INTERVIEW TERMINATED.