The Muinteoir, fresh from teaching your ma a lesson, has beaten actual death.
Diagnosed with some shite that was gonna job him out, the lyrical gangster turned to his dear sister Kate and tore a kidney directly from her broken body. Onlookers were stunned when he turned up at Beaumount Hospital in Dublin brandishing the organ 'like some kind of mad man wielding an axe.'
Doctors
were further shocked when he crashed through the protective glass in operating
theatre one, killing seven men and two women, before asking surgeons 'Do
you see this, do you? DO you want this? Right?' Confused, the surgeons
walked around the room chanting something about TG4 children's show krinnus
as Mooney performed the kidney transplant on himself, while reportedly
filming it on his phone for probable Youtube upload.
Not content with his new Kidney, the self styled 'Hotsteppah' rampaged
through the North wing of the hospital taking every available organ. He
is now believed to have three working hearts, a dozen lungs, between five
and eight pancreas' and a gold plated liver somehow. When questioned about
how the gold plated liver would function, considering the gold plating
would negate it's function, Mooney replied 'Fuck you Ceb. Ites!' A statement
which confused Ceb as he was not the one asking the question.
The whereabouts of his sister Kate, a long time BN legend, is unknown. However she did release a statement on her official Facebook which read 'Just give me back my fucking kidney you dick'. She later went on to shamelessly whore for votes on some fashion website, revealing her true colours as being just as insane as the other BNC members.
Mooney first rose to prominence in 1997 when he did a bunch of stuff that was suitable to the time - raving it up, double dropping it down and keeping it real. His first foray into the music business saw him release a spoken word album 'The Backyard Raver' which sold 6 copies. Luckily, one of those copies found it's way to the desk of Soul II Soul front man Jazzie B. He would help mould Mooney into a chart topping threesome alongside Milli Vanilli. Mooney was always the stand out and ended up moving to Kingston, Jamaica where he became a member of parliament. A massive drugs scandal followed, which made him so popular that he was appointed 'Badman for life'. He knew that he would have to return to Ireland eventually though and did so at some point, in some year to join the BNC and generally make life in Dublin much worse for normal people.
All of us here at ButtNuggetCrew.com wish him something.
