BN political fanatic Beardo has returned to Ireland after almost four years in exile to stand trial. The self styled 'playboy of the Eastern world' arrived in Knock airport after a flight which Aer Lingus staff described as 'harrowing'.
Beardo is back in Ireland after a lengthy extradition process which has seen him claim political asylum in over 15 countries this month alone, most notably Saudi Arabia and Iran.
He now faces a litany of charges which include aggravated burglary, breach of an anti social behaviour order, indecent assault and what he described as his 'personal favourite' crimes against decency (sections 1 through 18). If convicted of these charges 'Fidel' faces up to 90 years imprisonment or community service for an hour and a half.
The BN Crew members were quick to comment on the fate of their troubled bretherin, Gayommie declaring that 'He's guilty for sure. He's far too pretty for prison. Won't even last a week.' Hamhead was equally damning of Beardo's chances of clemency 'Prison's too good for him. Bring back hanging then set the gallows on fire and fuck it into the river Ganges. Fact.' BN top brass however, have not released an official statement on Beardo's claims that his misdemeanours were him simply 'following orders'.
Beardo came to prominence within the BN during his brief period in charge of the Raheny area creche for troubled toddlers and alcohol abuse drop-in centre, two organisations of which the BN Crew are patrons. He is also notable as a fervent pro war enthusiast, leading last year's one man march on Dail Eireann, resulting in the deaths of six rabbis, a mechanic and eight Tesco supermarket employees as well as countless numbers who were left both mentally and anally scarred by his actions. He escaped without conviction in the ensuing legal battles and will hope for a similar result when the trial begins in September of this year.
