*Small Applience Leads To Massacre*
Fresh from his recent death, Resistance leader Ceb unveils the can crushing machine that he believes could have a major impact in the resistance movement.

The disgraced former leader believes 'it is large enough to accommodate a small human head'.

When asked how his new machine would help the resistance leader in the fight against the terror regime of current leader Hamhead, he replied 'It won't.'
Also, something about floating voters.